


Blade of Hastur

by Fear_The_FWZZ



Category: Carmilla (Web Series)
Genre: AU- quest, Blade of Hastur, F/F, carmilla pov, truth telling
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-07-26
Updated: 2015-07-26
Packaged: 2018-04-11 06:34:04
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,434
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4425104
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Fear_The_FWZZ/pseuds/Fear_The_FWZZ
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>What really happened when Carmilla wanted to get the Blade of Hastur? We may never truly appreciate her effort. If it was all done... for nothing.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Blade of Hastur

_I told myself I wouldn't risk my life again? Now look where I am._

 

I stand on the cliff's edge. Below me is the freezing water. The white caps making polkadots in the ocean. The wind is strong and tempting my balance. I try and calm myself. Knowing I'm about to face one of the worst experiences in my life.  _I'm doing this for her. How could I have been so head over heels?_ I take one final breath-- even though it is unneeded-- and down I go. A quick dive and I'm plunged into darkness. I feel no temperature change. I feel at peace with the water which is very uncharacteristic of me. It's unknowingly preparing my mind. I bite my lip and swim deeper into the underwater crevice. 

 

After a couple minutes I see the light. The light I had sworn to stay away from. It shines a deep gold in the ink black darkness. I try and try again to forget why I'm here. If I can't remember then it won't hurt as much. There is a wall of crumbling rocks. Ever so slowly I take away the rocks. Some floating to the surface while others sink to the bottom. _Keep yourself together Carm. Nothing can hurt more than what's already happened to you._ That's very unconvincing but the light becomes brighter with every stone. Just as I move the last rock and i can squeeze through the wall fills back up. The water that rushed into here has drained to somewhere. The light wraps around a corner which leads down a sparkling stone staircase. I am wary of my actions, but because I was too wary I wasn't prepared for the unexpected. Something behind me knocks something heavy at my back and before I could react I'm on the ground. The same heaviness is on by back and I can't move. Something touches the cartilage of my ear. A raspy voice echoes through me.

"Miss. Karnstein. It was about time you showed up. We were sure you'd back out. That gave us more than enough time to prepare." 

His voice irks me and I try to shake free. I can already feel the tears well up in the back of my eyes. The dust makes my throat dry and I'm heaved upward. I speak between my teeth.

"Who's we?"

"Oh darling," The same raspy voice, "you will learn in time."

I still couldn't see who it was that spoke but I'm moving forward. I don't feel the jerk of the footsteps which makes me believe I'm floating. Just under the staircase a wooden door with a metal handle bar is closed. I see a cloaked figure's arm wrap around me and reach for the door. Between the threads I see bones. Crusty old, yellow bones. They crack and squeal like the door when it opens. The passage is dark and I don't have time to think until the door is shut behind me. Just as I hear the door lock a wall illuminates. Like an old picture is being taken from a slip of film. I think I can almost hear the projector. A young girl. No more than five. Bright blonde hair and short stubby legs. She runs in grass almost taller than she is. The screen seems to shift and a beautiful woman comes into view. She has the same hair as the girl and dazzling brown eyes.  _Laura? Is this what you've always wanted to explain to me? The mysterious figure of your past? Your mother._ The picture disintegrated into thin air. Instead of the raspy voice coming from behind and in my ear, it more fills the room and bounces off the wall. 

"Miss. Karnstein. I have a feeling you know what's taking place here, am I wrong?"

I shake my head no.

"I said am I wrong?! Speak up!" His voice raising and ringing in my ears. 

"No! Now just let me have the sword before things get ugly!"

He has a malicious laugh and it makes me feel so much smaller. "Child. Only a child. You were never taught that a superior like me can withstand any blow. Vampire or not."

His laugh continues and I rushed down the hall again. Approaching another illuminated picture. This time it shows Laura when she came to the campus outside. A hefty old man. Looking more lumberjack hugs her tightly. I could see the tears in his eyes. I try my best to hear and I feel the helplessness in his voice.

"Laura baby. I want to say one thing. Your mother would be proud. She would be. I love you so much. Don't do anything stupid really. I can't lose you too. I don't know how much more I could bare."

Laura's voice in inaudible. I can feel the anger in me rising.

"What did she say!" I hollar with no response. 

The screen goes away and the wind in this mysterious underground cavern blows my hair back and now I hear the feet. The same creaking cracking as the hand did. As we stop there is another door. There shining a bright golden light. One last time a screen comes up. I see me and Laura... but this hasn't ever happened yet. We are in an old rustic apartment that I can only recognize as my mother's. My eyes become wide in watching.I feel the tension around my arms loosen but I am too enveloped in the screen to notice. On the brown couch I speak.

"What am I to you? Am I just a question pending? A spinning chance? The two sides meaning win or lose."

"No Carm I didn't mean what I said back then. And I know you didn't either."

"Oh you mean when I said I loved you. No. That's where you're wrong. I meant it as much as you mean to me. You are my world. Literally my world. You have given up the heroic notions but that still doesn't cloud your mind that I'm still a vampire. You haven't forgotten that."

My eyes dart back and forth. Intrigued yet incredibly scared. Laura gets up from the couch. She looks at me with disgust in her eyes. 

"Yeah I know what you are.You are a fiendish vampire with the desire for blood. My blood for that matter. You're a monster. Just a silly monster who will never know the true definition of Love. Love isn't for your kind of people. If I can even call you a person. You have no right to love. No right. And I'm terrible I wasted my time thinking I can change that. All you are to me is a... monster."

I'm dropped to the ground and I couldn't hold back the tears that know fall from my face to the ground. Just as the screen lift the door opens to unveil the Blade. It's aura blinds me and the metal chic and slick. The old man's voice comes behind me again. 

"Now is that the person who you'd save?"

I can't answer him. I crawl with my hands. Dragging my body with it on the ground. I reach for the blade. Once I grab it I find strength and stand. I don't let him speak again and I'm running down the hall again. Instead of the darkness that filled the hall the screens find every inch of every wall. They're filled with memories of Laura crying, laughing, dancing, me. I can't control the tears on my face as I run. Then comes a dark terrible voice i know all too well. Laura.

"Monster! Monster! Monster!" 

They continue you as I run up the stairs I was coming down on. I climb two at a time. Her voice still calling out to me. I push and pull at the rocks until they fall. I am overwhelmed by the water as I reach the surface. I clamber out of the water and book it to the lustig. Transforming into the monstrous black cat that she will fear. 

 

_I'm not crying for the safety of Laura. I'm crying for myself and thinking I can change a fate that has already been predetermined. Yet I still race on into the night. Trying to save the girl who, one day, will turn her back on me. Think of me who I truly am. Will I be able to change that? No. Will I try? Yes. Will it work? No. Why? Because I have always feared that my nightmare will become true. And now I know it will..._


End file.
